Transparent

I chose this name for the purpose of being transparent here in this place. This is why many like to be anonymous, it makes sharing a whole lot easier. Today I bring you a self discovery, a quite interesting one, which was not clear until this morning.

Have you ever thought to yourself, that you alone, are your thoughts, your being. When you look in the mirror who do you see? How well do you know yourself? I looked at myself today, and saw a different person. I touched the mirror and asked the person in the mirror, "Who are you? Why do you do that..."

I do not believe I was ever too proud of myself, but I believed and enjoyed everyone telling me how smart I was, especially at a much younger age. I felt special. My reports were always, "Smart, Clever, Has great potential but needs to work harder." -- That was me. I never liked working hard, I never felt it was ever needed! Today however I see this world as a very different place than it was before.

As a young boy, I loved to question things, "What If...." "What would happen..." and such questions never left my head. My curiosity led me to investigate and read books, break things (yes.. I broke nearly everything around the house to investigate it.. lol). There was always the question, "But, What if..."

The sad part, is that it grew with me, to a highly unstable level. Acting upon such unclear and unstable hypotheses created an imaginary world which I had lived in. One day, it crumbled, and left me miserable. I always thought those around me do not understand, that they do not see the big picture, that this world is chaotic and people are miserable. When in truth, that is not the case... We act upon what we know, not what we think.

Thinking too much never helps, especially if it is in the wrong direction.