Sunday, February 11, 2007

Invention: Laser Slapper®

The name is a little lame, but wait till you hear the concept! Due to my continued success with my previous inventions such as the Pushcar Slapper® and the ever so famous Windshield Slapper® (with sales over 1,000,000 and still selling as gold.) I will be introducing the new Laser Slapper® in the "Enhance your driving with the Slapper® series products".

This new Laser Slapper® is a 1m space craft hovering 25 feet above your car. It will instantly blast any vehicle that will swerve onto your lane causing your blood pressure to jump. It will burn those cars which come up behind your car so close that you can almost slow down, but cant because if you do, the inevitable accident would happen. This Laser Slapper® will keep all other vehicles on the road in line by disintegrating those who drive in two lanes, and those who *ping-pong*, as i like to call it, between lanes. This and much more to come! Order your new Laser Slapper now, it comes free of charge, because if you don't drive properly as well, it will hunt you and burn you down.

Thank you for listening.

Transparently,
Over and out.

8 comments:

LaiaLy_q8 said...

LoooL

i like your very marketing tone in this post

i would like to provide you with some of my services such as a CRM (Customer Relationship Management) System or even some Data mining that will allow you to better serve your target market :p

eshrayek? lets be partners :p

Howahkan said...

LOOOOOOOL..Basically, it's like target shooting ;)
Also, can it be used for annoying motorbikes?

Transparently said...

LaiaLy_q8,
Of course, seeing as that the previous CRM has disapeared without a trace (I think we lost him during an expertimentation glitch) you are most welcome to apply for the position!
Send me you're resume and a letter explaining the thing that drives you most to join the Slapper product team (Which consists soley of me atm)! I see a very fruitful partnership ahead :P

Howahkan,
Motorbikes, Skaters, Pedestrians, Road-kill, you name it! This product has great potential, and just for you, I'll add in the Taser Slapper, this was supposed to be inroduced at a later date, but now we will include it FREE with the Laser Slapper. Now, you don't even have to talk or step out of your car, all you have to do is simply open your window, aim your Tazer Slapper, and BAM the person you aimed at gets hit with a high-voltage, low-amperage charge paralyzing the target.

Also, please make sure to be careful when using it while driving. We will not replace your Tazer Slapper if you drop it outside your window!

Howahkan said...

LOOOOL...you sound like those cheesy salesmen from the Home Shopping Network ;p

Also,"We will not replace".. haven't you heard of warranty ;)

Chica Bonita Q8 said...

abi :P I can't stand it when someone tailgates me, they should seriously make tailgating illegal in Kuwait ..

Transparently said...

Howahkan,
hehe :P Yeah warranty, of course I have, but have you read the fine print? :P

Chica Bonita Q8,
I agree, they should make it illegal! I think i'll make a special limited edition batch just fot law enforcement, with a shiny blue/red light on top :P

cixousianpanic said...

abi the taser slapper!! i want... i love the names ;p bas i like to "ping pong" when i drive really fast - it gives me such a rush ;) can we have another instrument that will protect our cars from the slappers?

oooooh and i wanna use my taser slapper not just on the road... can i do that?

Transparently said...

cixousianpanic,
An instrument to protect you against slappers? Humm. The idea is for them to be unbeatable, unavoidable, flawless to the extreme, the perfect machine :P And so will the Taser be! Of course you may get one, and can use it off the road too, just don't get too trigger happy :P