Relationships. Guys you might want to read this too and provide feedback, if you wish.
"Where were you?" Is a question that is asked rather too much. It can be interpreted in many ways. However mostly it is a question of trust or care. Neither can be a question of both. If there is trust, there is already care. If there is no trust there can be no care. Women can interpret it as "Oh, he's asking because he cares." Other women would think, "Doesn't he trust me?" The question here is, on what basis would a woman think this? Is it because she does not trust him, that she thinks he does not trust her? Or are all women usually suspicious of their partner's behavior. I leave the analysis to you,
...the reader.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Care and Distrust
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13 comments:
I believe that it depends on the situation and the tone of question.. Based on that, someone will be able to judge whether it was a "care" question or a "mistrust" question...
Hmmm..It was 2 days since your last post, So, "Where were you?" haaa? haa? :P
Salty-C,
It can be interpreted as many things as you said, but tone can be misleading sometimes. Even some women see this behaviour and these types of questions as caring and being protective, it is a very cultural thing don't you think so?
Blue Ice Envy,
That is quite true, many of them do ask and even go further and start being possessive. Wouldn't this generalization lead to unfairness don't you think.
Cuteberry,
Sure situation and tone matter, but they can also be misleading when someone says where were u, what would make you think he cares wouldn't you want your man to ask you where you been and stuff :P Where was I? I was here and there, *cough* around you know;P lol
Well, i have little experience when it comes to lack of trust, i dont think i ever went through that.
BUT
Whenever i call anyone, from my mom to a casual friend....the next question after : hi, shlonich? is wainich? Its automatic, and my mom always tells me off about it, she says its rude and nosey, but i dont mean it. I ask so i know if the other person is busy or not, cuz usually when u ask if a person is busy or not they always say no to be polite, and they probably are busy.
So i dunno if that was useful to u, but thats what went through my head when i read ur post.
it's that simple u give respect u get respect!!
Hmmm... When a person asks "where are u" it doesnt mean that s/he doesnt trust their partner its just that they care about them. it doesnt mean that they dont trust them.
However, the meaning of the sentences changes depending on the tone of voice. The meaning of the sentence can change from caring to distrust depending on how the sentence is said.
It really does make a difference how it's being said...the tone of voice...the listener can actually tell whether it was said with longing i.e. Where have you been (I've missed you) or as interogation..."WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" (I've been worried sick and I don't trust you)....I love it when it's being said with longing...and it sucks when it's said as interogation!
Well take it this way..maybe he/she is asking cuz they trust and care about you!
Me personally i never take it as a less trust matter,bel 3aks,they might get worried and wanna know more where and who am i with..that shows how much they care about me!!
"Or are all women usually suspicious of their partner's behavior"<---Regarding this sentence,all Women???akeed no,bas some yeah..it is a sick behaivour whcih is one of the top reasons for a marriage failure.
So the way its said matters? I suppose it does, however with trust and care, wouldn't it be more practical for the female (and the guy) both to say what they will do without waiting for the question?
By the way, It would have been great to have more guys comment here. Too bad, there aren't.
I agree with those that said tone of voice. Most of whatever is meant by something is evident by the tone of voice, so that is what would make me think if he cared or if he was suspicious... All in all, its a pretty innocent question if u ask me... I wouldn't get pissed off about it.. even if the tone of voice indicated that he was suspicious... :)
laialy_q8,
:)
The Krispy Dixie,
good! I especially like the last part of your comment :)
her,
Hey! I didn't know it was you, I'll go check it out now. :P
I believe in 2 things:
1. the tone of a voice
2. the mood of that person, who hears this "Where were you?"
I think no.1 is easy for understanding...
no.2 - if you are not in mood it can seems to you that your lover treats you not good at all.
In this case it's not important how it's said "Where were you?"
Anyway, everybody will see only what he wants (or waits) to see.
I guess the more they care, the more they fear losing them, therefore getting that question asked again and again.
Methinks men are the same, just for the record.
Sever,
Ah interesting, so it could also depend on the person being asked! Good input.
Hasbeen,
Good notice, I bet that there are quite a few men who are like that. I don't think they're all the same though :)
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